Dear Sisters,
I need your feedback. I am an only child and my mother is having a rough time. She has pretty much lost everything due to alcoholism and prescription drugs. She is currently homeless and staying at a friends house. She has not worked in almost a month. The problems she is having have been going on for several years and she keeps getting worse.
My major concern is that she is a danger to herself. She has attempted suicide 4 times that I know of and has been sent to a mental facility each time. Yet with each attempt she gets 'better' at it in that this last time we really almost lost her. In addition, she has had 4-5 DUIs in the past 15 years. She is currently awaiting a court date next month. While she was out on bond she was driving and caused an accident and get this she had beer in her car that she picked up on her way home from church. It was then that she tried her most recent suicide attempt, when faced with the possibility of immediately going to jail, she took a bottle of pills.
Well fast forward to her now, she is broke and really struggling. I have paid her cell phone bill for the month, but I am unsure how much help I should give her and how much I should encourage her to help herself. I started the process of her getting on disability (May 2010) and she is yet to finish the application. When I make suggestions to her to try to get on some public assistance she just makes excuses about why she can't do it.
We live in different states which is for the best because she has been hinting at coming to live with me. I cannot do that. I cannot expose my children to her unstable behavior. My biggest concern is if she tries to kill herself again. There are of course numerous other concerns, but that is the biggest one.
I am at my wits end and any advice or tips to help her and help me deal with her would be awesome. Maybe I am missing something because I am in the middle of it.
Thanks in advance for your help. I will respond to comments within this original post.
Take care....
Your Sister SB
Having mentally ill people in my family, including alcoholics, and working in an school with many families with similar issues, at this point, the best thing you can do is to give emotional support and direction. She is an adult and has made all these decisions on her own and must accept the consequences on her own. Being co-dependent will not help her; it will continue to prolong her behavior. If you are worried about her committing suicide (imminently) call the police and they can have her Baker Acted. Don't let your fear of her committing suicide drive your decisions (I know it is hard!) You living in a different state is the best thing and do not let her come and live with you! You are strong and can handle this. Your Mom is strong too and we must believe that she can handle it too. Pray in the positive that she is already doing the right things. Sometimes doing nothing is the best thing along with prayer!
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