I am 22, just graduated from college and recently started a brand new job. I also found out I am 6 weeks pregnant. My friends have been supportive and my boyfriend of 3 years is having a lot of trouble. One, he is from India and the cultures and customs really shun on pregnancy while unwed, so much to say that his parents would probably never talk to him again and shu
n him from the family- so he has vowed to not tell them.
My parents, which my dad is a pastor- have told me to get an abortion as fast as possible. Trying to say that God would want it that way. What do I feel? I am pro-choice, but after researching could not bring myself to agree with getting an abortion in my situation.
Right now my boyfriend and I are discussing options of keeping the baby as well as adoption. Both have very great positives and life-changing negatives as well. I am really scared that if my employers find out they might fire me, so I am doing the best I can to stay strong, but it is also hard bc my boyfriend will not be returning for 3 months- because he is in Canada with his family. This is his final year in college, and he is not a citizen of the US either.
I can say that I make 26,000 a yr. prior to taxes and have a nice single apartment, but my biggest concern is that the baby would be raised in a nightmare environment and situation- perhaps adoptive parents could provide a better life, but as I look at my situation I also feel that everything is temporary and making it work could be possible with the right mindset- EITHER WAY I know that the decision I make either to parent, choose adoption, or in the worse case scenario if my boyfriend does not stick around I ask myself could I even be a single parent?
Any ADVICE would be appreciated!
Sister L
I think you have answered a lot of your own questions. You only make $26,000 a year...which is not enough to have a baby whether married or especially not single! You could end up hating your situation. You run the risk of driving your bf out of the relationship and he is still in school! Bad! Your parents support abortion, so, even though an agonizing decision, abortion or adoption are your best options. You are just not in the right position to have a baby right now. Is that what you want for your child? Money challenges are the most devasting ones to any relationship.
ReplyDeleteYou definitely need to pray, because you have to live with the decision, but if youb were my child, I would implore you to have the abortion. Having a baby now could totally change your life plans and not necessarily for the better! God always understands our challenges and supports us!
Good luck!
I really do understand where you are. I got pregnant two months after my college graduation. I graduated in December and was to start my first post-graduate job in June. I did start, but I didn't tell my employer until about a month after I started. (Luckily I didn't start showing until the end of July) My son's father chose not to be a part at all. He still isn't to this day. My son was born three weeks after my 22nd bday. So like I said I really do understand where you are.
ReplyDeleteEven with that being said I will say this. No one can decide what is right for you, but you. If you are wondering if you can be a single parent the answer is a loud YES. Women do it everyday. I won't lie and say that it isn't hard because it is. On the flip side, at times when I think everything is going downhill my son comes and gives me a huge hug (without even knowing something is wrong). I used to have moments where I wished I had just gone to the clinic, but now if I had to do it all again I would still make the same choice.
There is no guarantee that life will be easier or harder with or without. It will simply be different. Whatever you decide just make sure it is the best decision for you and not everyone surrounding you.
I was a single mom of 3...in a relationship with a guy, and got pregnant. He was not supportive, told me it wasnt his, and walked away. I had my phone call into the planned parenthood office for an abortion, as well as an appointment.However, I had my son in April of 2009. Sure I wasnt in the best place in life, but he is one of the 6 (all of my kids) best things that has ever happened to me! Life isnt always easy..and the struggle can be so hard you feel like giving up..but in your heart of hearts, in the end it is your decision. You have to think through it, and decide. Big hugs. It is not easy, but not impossible.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should have an abortion or give your baby up for adoption because you are going to have to live with that for the rest of your life! I agree that the only person that can decide is you because guys come and go and even if you were married you never know what may happen. Even married women need to be mentally prepared to be single mothers since the divorce rate is now at more than sixty percent. I have two kids and of course it isn't easy but my kids are my reason to live. They love me unconditionally and they inspire me to be a better person everyday! Children are a gift and it doesn't matter if you make 26,000 a year, you could apply for W.I.C. and help until you could find a job that pays you more. Go online and get another degree if you have to. Trust me once the baby gets here everyone will help you out. You're family will come around and so will your boyfriend. Please just don't have an abortion, I promise you will regret it!
ReplyDelete